No heartbeat

The second ultrasound today confirmed it. We lost the baby...again. This is the third freaking loss within a one year period. I am getting so tired of this shit! I don't even know where to turn anymore. What can I possibly do to make the outcomes better? I have had so many tests, some evasive, to see what the problem is and they all come back normal. Is this some cruel joke being played on us? My patience and my faith is wearing thin. I just want to scream out, "FUCK YOU WORLD!!!"

My D & C is scheduled for Wednesday at noon. I am scared to do this, but I know it is something I have to go through. I don't want to run the risk of it happening naturally while on vacation, and not knowing if everything passed.

I am just at a loss for words....