My first appointment is this Saturday, and I am starting to get nervous. All the "What ifs" have crossed my mind. B tells me not to worry. That this one feels right...but you never know. A positive note, I guess, is that I have been feeling more nauseous than I did with the previous pregnancy. I guess that is a good sign. I get up in the middle of the night to pee at least three times. I swear I pee almost every couple of hours. Me and the toilet have been best friends!
On another note, we went to S & D's wedding celebration yesterday in Wisconsin. We found out that they are expecting and S is 17 weeks! How exciting! She told us a story about her two previous miscarriages, and I could truly understand. I cried like a baby in B's arms because I know what she is going through, and how much she wants this baby. Every woman who has gone through a loss can truly understand.
I will be doubling up on my prayers in hopes of getting through this appointment on Saturday morning. I do hope all is well. B and I want this so badly. I don't know what I would do if something were to happen again. Everything is in God's hands at this moment.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
"Rising Appropriately"
"Rising Appropriately." Words to my ears. Those were the words in an email to me from my doctor with my 2nd beta results. What a relief. My first beta was very low at 55. I took that blood test last Thursday after work. I had to go in on Saturday to take the second test. Waiting for the results have been agonizing. I was checking my email almost three times a day, hoping the results came in. Finally got the results this morning. My betas are at 229!!! More than doubled! Now I know that I am truly pregnant. It is such a relief to know everything is moving along nicely. Let's hope this little peanut decides to stick around!!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Round 2
Wow...
I cannot believe it! Well, lately I have been pretty exhausted. I would go to bed early and wake up feeling like a ton of bricks had hit me. B asked me to take a test to rule that out as an option for me not feeling well. I got home from work last night and poas(peed on a stick)....two lines, one extremely faint. I thought my eyes were deceiving me, so I took a digital this morning. Sure enough those all magical words popped up after 3 minutes..."pregnant." I actually don't know how to feel. After everything B and I went through in June, there is a bittersweet feeling. All the innocence and excitement is gone when you get a bfp.
I guess it explains why I have been so exhausted lately, and b*tchy, and emotional, and why one day B's cologne was making me ill to my stomach. This pregnancy is very different from the previous one. I have virtually NO symptoms. Last pregnancy, once I found out, I was extremely nauseous, frequent bathroom trips, bloated, tender breasts, and tired. Now I only have some bloat, headaches, and some hunger pains.
I am really excited, yet cautious at the same time. I am scared that this pregnancy might end the way the previous one did. I do hope this little bean sticks with us this time.
I cannot believe it! Well, lately I have been pretty exhausted. I would go to bed early and wake up feeling like a ton of bricks had hit me. B asked me to take a test to rule that out as an option for me not feeling well. I got home from work last night and poas(peed on a stick)....two lines, one extremely faint. I thought my eyes were deceiving me, so I took a digital this morning. Sure enough those all magical words popped up after 3 minutes..."pregnant." I actually don't know how to feel. After everything B and I went through in June, there is a bittersweet feeling. All the innocence and excitement is gone when you get a bfp.
I guess it explains why I have been so exhausted lately, and b*tchy, and emotional, and why one day B's cologne was making me ill to my stomach. This pregnancy is very different from the previous one. I have virtually NO symptoms. Last pregnancy, once I found out, I was extremely nauseous, frequent bathroom trips, bloated, tender breasts, and tired. Now I only have some bloat, headaches, and some hunger pains.
I am really excited, yet cautious at the same time. I am scared that this pregnancy might end the way the previous one did. I do hope this little bean sticks with us this time.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
A camping we will go
This past weekend was alot of fun. B and I went camping with our friends A and M, as well as his brother and sister in-law. We camped at Kettle Moraine in Wisconsin. Such beautiful weather we had! The bugs were tolerable too. It is just so nice to be able to get away and leave all of your stress, and the hustle and bustle of your life behind for a while. This just might be the start of an annual event. Woo-hoo!
It was a little hard to be there though. There was alot of baby talk going on...A's wife is 20 weeks pregnant, and M's wife is 10 weeks pregnant. I was 10 weeks when I lost my little one. I should have been between them at 17 weeks. It was kind of hard to listen to them talk about diapers, and daycare, and just the joys of waiting for their little one to come. B and I should be a part of that joy. We should be finding out the sex soon, starting the nursery, creating a registry...but we are not. I want to be able to go through this incredible experience with my friends. It is still hard sometimes, but each day gets a little better.
It was a little hard to be there though. There was alot of baby talk going on...A's wife is 20 weeks pregnant, and M's wife is 10 weeks pregnant. I was 10 weeks when I lost my little one. I should have been between them at 17 weeks. It was kind of hard to listen to them talk about diapers, and daycare, and just the joys of waiting for their little one to come. B and I should be a part of that joy. We should be finding out the sex soon, starting the nursery, creating a registry...but we are not. I want to be able to go through this incredible experience with my friends. It is still hard sometimes, but each day gets a little better.
Monday, August 11, 2008
There is a first for everything
Wow. Never thought I would actually do what is popular and start a blog. So much has happened in my life over the last 10 months. I got married in October of '07. B is his name. The love of my life. He brings a smile to my face whenever I think of him. Got a positive HPT in May. Yup, was about to become a mom. So excited, yet so scared of the unknown. That all came crashing to an end when I miscarried in June while on vacation in Mexico. So devastating to lose your baby. So angry with the world, with myself. How could this happen? I was doing everything right...at least I thought I was. I had never been so scared in my life. I had a d&c in Mexico. Had to leave the cruise ship because my health was in jeopardy. NEVER had surgery of any kind before, but it all worked out in the end. My little angel made it to 10wks and 1d.
So I decided after going through all this, it is time to document the important things that are happening in my life. Let's see where this blogging thing takes me!
So I decided after going through all this, it is time to document the important things that are happening in my life. Let's see where this blogging thing takes me!
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